There is a flurry of activity as the travel dog bed is placed in the back of the jeep with a fresh clean cover lovingly tuck around it. The doggie travel bag is packed with leashes and harness, water bowl, a few toys, a stuffed animal, raw hide knots, doggie chicken treats, poo pick up bags and a brand new collar with brand new tags.
Sandwiches are made for the humans and bottles of water, both packed into the mini-cooler with ice. Chips, granola bars, cheese crackers placed in a cloth bag by the cooler. The trip will be 3 ½ hours one way and we don’t want to stop for food on the way there and we will have a frightened and excited new dog with us on the way back. No time them for leisurely dining either.
Everything ready and the house put to bed, I am tired yet I toss and turn, nervous, excited, wondering. Knowing that the wheel turns one more turn, the kaleidoscope shifts and the mosaic of our lives will be changed forever again. This time, this change, by a choice I made one late night when I should have been sleeping, a good change through a choice for life. Not a change or modification in life or routine due to the death of an animal companion or a hospital sick bed revelation promise, not an opportunity to confront my biggest fear, but a choice for a big, slobbery, lick your face, living, breathing, joyful life. A choice to honor the cycle of life, death and yes, re-birth. Am I ready, for this? I don’t know. We will see soon.
The alarm clock sounds and I jump from bed, more excited and nervous to great the day than I have been for a long time, except for last weekends Smack Fest, an all day heavy Metal event we got to go and cover for the radio station we volunteer at. I go about in a rush of excitement getting the birds their breakfast, comb my hair, do my make up, get dressed, grab coffee and an everything bagel, load the sandwiches, snacks, water, doggie bag, and my book bag complete with phone numbers and directions and away we go.
Last stop before we leave town is for gas. Gas pumped, last minute snacks purchased and seat belts buckled, my excitement and nervousness is off the charts. I fiddle in my seat and take a deep breath and realize I have a 3½-hour car ride ahead of me. No quick 20-minute jaunt of excitement, no area to pace in for all that time. I breathe in deeply once, twice, three times trying to calm and center myself. I start the trip chattering away about inconsequential things but realize it does not calm me. I grow quiet as I contemplate the changes that are now occurring in our household and our life and hope that I have made the right decision for our household, for our Senior citizen, Silver, for our life. I know I the right thing is being done by Freya. She will come to a home full of love and understanding and patience and experience. I breathe in and out and feel the beauty of the universe flowing through me, as I feel suspended between my past and my future. Freya, we are coming to get you. We are coming to take you home.
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